When life give you lemons...

 Life has truly been crazy. I went to institute last night and we discussed how there must be opposition in all things(which I really needed, and I am so glad I went even though I would have rather been running, or doing zumba). How else are we to know happiness, if we have never known sorrow? It's a true blessing in disguise. Lets be real. Wouldn't we all rather be happy all of the time, then have our moments of sadness?  I know I would. but when I truly think about it, these "moments" have made me who I am today. It's true, they sucked, and I can't say that I would never take them back, because to be completely honest I would, well some of them. But alas I cannot. and for that I am thankful. Those moments scratched, cut, and banged me up, but they also molded me into who I am today. Sure I have walls up, and I push people away, but I am protecting myself. It is something that I am working on, but who isn't working on themselves. Can't we all improve somehow?  

 In out moments of sadness, we must remember " It's going be okay." We all endure trials, I know so many people who have over come them, and many who are going through them. I try to laugh at mine. If you were to ask my sister, she would testify that everything awkward happens to me. EVERYTHING. but i just laugh at it. sometimes that's all you can do.... 

I act like an old lady... its sad..

True. my title does not lie. I have been acting like an old woman. my joints/ ankle hurt, my back aches, my memory is less than great, I go to bed at like 7( and when I say 7 I mean 930) and my hearing is gone.  I am pathetic. I am 21 years old. I should not be like this!!! I am blaming my pains on the joys of tumbling. But the rest... REALLY? seriously I need help. Sometimes I feel like Dori on Finding Nemo. Now that I am thinking of it, it is really because I just started my new job and I am trying to remember an enormous amount of stuff...   
   Lets focus on my hearing. my family not only makes fun of my choking, but they also make fun of my hearing. I think they have finally realized that its not selective hearing, I truly cannot hear them. Guys, its bad. I feel like sometimes I am focusing so much on trying to hear them, that I don"t actually listen. I feel SOOO bad when I have to keep asking " What?"  for reals. I need to fix this. 

BUCKET LIST FOR SPRING 2012

So, I have recently decided that I need to be more adventurous. When I was little, nothing, and I mean nothing scared me. As I grew up I let fears take over my life. This is going to stop this year.  My bucket list for this spring, will have things that I have always wanted to do, but havent yet. most of them wont be because I was too scared not to do it, I just havent had the chance OR I have done before but I loved it so much that it needs to be on the list... But if I can get this list done my summer one will be FILLED with adventurous things. Just wait. it will be grand. 


1. kiss a boy in the rain.
2.watch the sunrise
3. watch the sunset
4. eat corn on the cob on my deck
5. go to a concert
6. meet someone new every day
7. hike Adams canyon
8. explore utah
9. go to every temple in utah. ( or all of the Wasatch front temples if i cant make it to st.george) 
10. complete a dare
11. go to st. george 
12. do an act of service every day
13. Kiss someone in a crazy place. 
14. go fishing
15. actually catch a fish ( not a whimpy one.) 
MORE TO COME!!!! :) 

Sundays are Still Hard....

   I thought as time went on it would be easier, but this past Sunday was really hard for me. I tried to happy, and I think I put a good face on to the world, but I still really miss my Her. I miss going to her house to see her, I just miss her.  As I sit here with tears making their way down my cheeks, listening to the piano version of Send In the Clowns, the song my brother played at my grandmas funeral, I can only think of all of the sweet memories made with the most amazing woman I have ever met,  my grandma. She is truly my hero, and I miss her with all of my heart. 

  It has been almost 8 weeks since she returned to our Father in heaven. She is now with her family, her husband and her son. What a sweet reunion she must have had with all of them. It's hard to believe how fast time has passed. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and the smile she always brought to my face. She always had a way of making me happy. 

  I will never forget the memories that I have with her. I can remember raking up leaves in her back yard with her and my mom. oh the memories I have in that yard. I remember it was my birthday and my parents were on Trek, so I was staying with my grandma. That was the day I was going to climb the tree in the back yard all by myself, and that I did. I recall getting to the higher part, and getting really scared. All I wanted was to prove that I was a big kid. I called for her to come help me. She came and expressed how proud she was that I could climb the tree all by myself. She made me feel safe, and I made it down safe and sound. 

   I remember all of the family parties and Sunday gatherings we had in that yard. We played games, laughed, shared stories, and ate delicious treats. I remember doing yard work on memorial day after we visited Grandpa Harold, and Uncle Randy's graves. My family is truly the best, and I have been to blessed to be able to grown up with all of my cousins. I miss seeing them on Sundays.  Every Sunday with out fail, she would always come up to me and ask " Now how did I get so lucky to have all of you?, All of my neighbors are jealous that my family comes over every Sunday!, and I wish Grandpa were here, He would have loved this." . 

   My senior year of high school, I would eat lunch with her, bring by a candy bar, or stop in to say hi. The stories she told me were amazing. She would tell me stories about her meeting my grandpa, the fun dates she would go on, schools, homesteading the mountain, the great depression, and watermelons. She would say " what do you think they will come up with next?" She has lived through the most amazing of inventions. She has seen it all happen. 

  The sweetest moments I have had with here, were in the last year of her life. When she went to live in the rest home, she was so mad at my family. but she loved her grand kids. I was living in Logan at the time, so when ever I would come down I would go visit her. From what I remember, no one could make her smile. except me and kenzie. Everytime I saw her she was upset, or sad, but by the time I left she was laughing, and smiling. Now I am sure everyone could get her to do that, but I like to think that it was just me.    

  As soon as school was out this past semester, and I wasn't working I was home. I wanted to be with her. I watched her slowly drift away, but those memories are by far the sweetest. The spirit that she had with her was so strong. I will never forget sitting at her bed side holding her hand. I will never forget laying by her side combing her hair. I will never forget her hugs that she gave and the kisses on my cheeks. I will never forget the night that I gave her a hug goodnight, and she put her hands on my face, pulled me close  and said thank you. I will never forget her. 

  It  is still hard for me to know that she wont meet my future husband, she wont physically be there at my wedding, She wont be there to see my kids grow, but I know she will spiritually. That is one of the greatest gifts of the gospel.  This woman has left an imprint on my heart and I will never forget her. She really in my hero, and I would be honored to be as strong as she was. I love you Grandma Bobbi! 

The Drive Down Memory Lane....

The drive from Layton to Logan is one that I have made at least a thousand times. I know it like the back of my hand. It is so beautiful, as are the memories that I have made on my drives. Okay lets be real. Not all of them are fond. Those moments would be the 10 times my car broke down in Sardine Canyon. On the bright side, I no longer panic when that happens. Mostly bad words run through my head, but I am working on that...                                          Today,  my drive consisted of me reminiscing my previous years living in Logan.  I remembered all of the fun drives that Meg and I had, belting out "I Want to Break Free" by Queen, Delilah following us everywhere, the funny rap songs we would jam out to, but most importantly the great talks that we had. She truly is one of my best friends. We had SO much fun together.  Man so many memories are running through my brain right now, and all of the bring a smile to my face. We learned a lot together. We grew up together. We helped each other ( well she helped me) in so many ways. I honestly don't know where I would be with out that woman. My fondest memories have her in them.

 Freshman and Sophomore year were truly THE best. Late night Betos runs,  pantie parties, maller baller, Cinnamon challenge, hot springs, movie nights, making s'mores on the stove,  throwing the football, working out at the field house, yoga in our bedroom, chamber of secrets, playing in the canal behind the apartment, yelling DANGER trying to scare each other, watching Law and Order SVU and FRIENDS..... Wikipedia.... (hahahaha) The list goes on and on. None of these experiences would have been the same with out my amazing roommates, Nicole, Sallie and Megan. We didn't go a day with out laughing.  

I think what really made freshman year was the guys we hung out with. I think they came into our lives just when they needed to. We became one of the guys so fast with them! I wouldn't have it any other way. They were my best friends. Oh the  memories of nights with them. Betos at midnight on Sundays were expected.  If I recall right, we were all together every day. Man I miss those guys. 

I am so excited to be able to make more friends and more memories, however I really think that those 2 years will always be the best. There are so many more memories, and I could go into FAR more detail about them, but alas it is far past my bed time, and I still want to watch Private Practice. Its my addiction.... 

Thanks again for reading, I know that this post wont make sense to most, but to some hopefully it will bring back those memories. Goodnight all! 

     So its true, I have finally hopped on the bandwagon and decided to blog. Gag I know! I am not really good with words, and I know I will my grammar and spelling mistakes, but that is who I am. I am no where near perfect. Ask my family. I fall up stairs, run into walls, and trip over anything and I choke. A Lot. On everything, including air (it's embarrassing). I like to think of my self as the "funny/fat " child in my family. I swear I am always eating!! I am SOOO thankful for a fast metabolism! I hate contention, and I always have tried to make those around my happy. It doesn't always work, and sometime I probably annoy the heck out of my parents, BUT I sure get a kick out of my self!   It really is true, laughter is always the best medicine ( at least for me...).
      I think my family likes to mostly laugh at me, not with me. Picture it. I was eating in the Layton  Hills Mall with my mom and sister. I was simply enjoying my delicious Chick-fa-le when BOOM out of now where I started choking on my Dr. Pepper.  I am literally choking, and my dear sweet Mom and sister are laughing uncontrollably AT me. RUDE. I was semi glad to see the nice men sitting at the table next to us, looking like they were about to leap out of their seats to come to my rescue. Thankfully I stopped and they didn't have to come over. That would probably have been my most embarrassing moment of my life. To this day I still will choke. Ask my friends. Those who really know my, just sit there and let me choke to my death, knowing that I will be okay. It is always funny when we are around new people and they all have these panicked faces. 
      Anyways  I love to laugh. If you can make me laugh, we will be friends. No doubt. I have learned to laugh at my self. When I was younger I would get embarrassed if I fell. I have since learned its better to just laugh. I think it makes the whole situation better for everyone involved. Lets just face the fact that when people fall it is funny (hopefully they are okay). This reminds me of my freshman year. It was indeed a snowy day at USU. While walking to the shuttle, Megan and I decided to walk in between the TSC and the Field House. There may or may not be a slight decline, and walking down it was pretty dang slick. Meg and I held onto each other, slipping and sliding, we kept each other up. Before I get to the next part of this story, I do have to say that we LOVED when people biffed it ( mostly on long boards, but all times were great). Especially on campus. It is so mean I know, but again lets be real, its funny. Anyways there was this guy walking in front of us, Hot chocolate in one hand and a muffin in the other. ... I can remember watching him and just waiting for him to fall. Then he did. Picture it. His legs slide from front to back. Much like in cartoons. His muffin flies into the air, then continues to hit the ground rolling down the hill. His hot chocolate spilled all over the road and  this poor guy. " MY HOT CHOCOLATE!!!!" I hurried over to him to make sure he was okay. He denied my help. NBD.  It took everything to keep Meg and I from laughing our heads off. We then had to hurry to catch the shuttle. I am pretty sure we looked like complete fools. The second we got onto that shuttle we both bursted with laughter. Non stop laughter until we got to the car. To this day I still laugh. 
       Hopefully this blog makes sense, and is fun to read! I am pretty random to most of my posts will be random. :) Lets hope this goes well!